Over at RobZombie.com, the rocker and occasional filmmaker recently put up a cryptic video announcing his next directorial effort – a movie called 3I. The video takes you on a journey through Zombie’s film career, from the Firefly franchise to the Halloween movies, before teasing us with his next movie, 3I, which includes some Captain Spaulding clown make-up imagery. Making one wonder if 3I is a three-quel in the House of 1000 Corpses/Devil’s Rejects saga.
Though, the prospect seems quite unlikely. If you head over to Zombie’s Facebook page, he (or whoever is running his page) continually shot down any such speculation. Fans have asked whether this will be a new Halloween film, a John Wayne Gacy biopic, and of course a sequel or prequel to The Devil’s Rejects of House Of 1000 Corpses, and the answers has been NO all across the board.
This still can’t stop us from speculating and dreaming a little bit. With The Devil’s Rejects undoubtedly Zombie’s finest work there is a small part of us that would like to see the story continue in some form. Any horror fan knows the story well; the Firefly family, Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley), and Vera-Ellen “Baby” Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie), among others, are simply a group of murderous psychopaths on the run from the law. Let’s take a look at a few ways this new film could tie into the Firefly franchise.
4. Tiny’s Story
At the end of The Devil’s Rejects the only member of the Firefly family to survive was Tiny (possible), we last see him walking into his burning house but for the sake of argument we’re going to assume that he’s still alive. The younger half-brother of Baby, Tiny suffers from gigantism and is horribly burnt all over his body after being doused with lighter fluid and being set on fire when he was a child.
This would be a straight up sequel and the least likely to happen (as well as the film we’d least likely want to see). Sure watching Tiny cause mayhem or get revenge would probably be fairly entertaining, but the thought of a Firefly film without Captain Spaulding, Otis or Baby is not something we’d be all that interested in.
3. Show the Events Between House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects
Despite being fairly vicious, House of 1000 Corpses was pretty hokey (and what was up with Otis being some weird albino?). On the other hand, The Devil’s Rejects (while still maintaining its fair share of humor) was far more serious in tone and its story. What would a film that took place between the two look like? We could see the Firefly family continuing their mayhem while we watch the police building a case against them. Just think of The Amazing Spider-Man films taking place between the first Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2…on second thought, don’t use that as an example.
2. Give an Individual Character Their Own Film
Who wouldn’t be interested in Baby’s sex life (assuming she has one)? Watching Sheri Moon Zombie pick up unsuspecting young men having her way with them then brutally murdering them would be a sight to see. Captain Spaulding is basically born to star in his own film, we’d love to see him in a day in the life. Fried chicken and murder, it would no doubt be awesome. We’d also love to see Otis doing…the grotesque things that Otis is into.
1. The Firefly Family Return as Zombies and Travel To Outer-Space
What’s the most outrageously awesome thing you can do with a horror franchise? Why, sending its characters into space! Just think about Jason X or the classic Leprechaun 4: In Space. Okay, this final entry is a bit of a joke and we definitely don’t want to see a zombiefied version of the Firefly being sent into space. Or do we? No, we do not…or, do we? You have to admit. Zombie Captain Spaulding would be pretty great.
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