Cutesicle. According to the Urban Dictionary cutesicle is “someone who is super duper cute and makes you want to use stupid-sounding phrases to describe them because you just can’t handle their cuteness.” For instance: That Dael Kingsmill sure is cutesicle!
Well, today we are going to be looking at some of the most cutesicle (adorable) movie characters of all time who, at the same time, would gladly tear your face off if given the chance. This is ten cutesicle movie characters who are actually stone cold killers.
10. Milo – Bad Milo (2013)
Bad Milo tells the tale of a guy named Duncan (Ken Marino) who learns that his abnormal stomach problems are being caused by a creature living in his intestines. While Milo looks like a adorable butt dweller he is actually a vicious monster who brutally murders anybody who gets in Duncan’s way. In other words, Milo takes care of Duncan’s subconscious bidding. For instance; if Duncan isn’t having a good day at work Milo will promptly show up to tear his boss a new one… literally.
9. Chucky – Child’s Play (1988)
Our favorite killer doll Chucky has been through quite a lot over the course of six films. He’s been stabbed, shot numerous times, chopped to pieces by massive propellers, and yet he still perseveres. It’s hard to even remember when Chucky was still in human form, transferring his soul into a brand new Good Guy Doll to avoid 5-O. Nevertheless, back in the ’80s Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) as a brand new doll fresh out the box was so adorable we all wanted to be “friends till the end”. Of course Chucky would rather just hit you in the face with a hammer.
8. Dolly Dearest Doll – Dolly Dearest (1991)
We can’t talk about demonically possessed adorable killer dolls without mentioning Chucky’s cinematic sister Dolly Dearest. The film tells the story of a hoard of dolls who become possessed by evil spirits at a local toy factory. The main character’s daughter discovers one of the possessed dolls on a shelf, they take it home and “accidents,” begin to occur. Sound familiar?
7. Angela Baker – Sleepaway Camp (1983)
After a horrific boating mishap kills her family, Angela, a introverted and gloomy young girl, moves in with her oddball aunt Martha, alongside her protective cousin Ricky. One summer, Martha sends the kids to Camp Arawak. Soon after their arrival, a series of out of the ordinary and increasingly violent accidents begins to claim the lives of various campers. Angela (played by Felissa Rose) may seem like a typical cute young girl but she is actually hiding a very big secret. SPOILER ALERT! She’s actually a dude as well as a mass murderer.
6. The Vampire Pomeranian – Blade: Trinity (2004)
Over the course of three films, our favorite half-vampire superhero Blade has come across his fair share of formidable foes. Though, none were quite as terrifying as the dreaded, the terrible… puppy dog vampire. Yup, the vamps were clearly feeling a little creative and tried their hand at interbreeding different species with vampires. What ultimately came about was a half dog, half vampire who looks cuddly and adorable, but who comes with a considerable bite.
5. Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl – Kick-Ass (2010)
Played by Chloë Grace Moretz, Hit-Girl is a young but lethal vigilante, trained by her father (Damon Macready / Big Daddy, played by Nicolas Cage) at an early age to sharpen her skills as an assassin. Many people had a problem with the first Kick-Ass due to the fact that such a young girl caused so much death and annihilation (and cursed like a sailor), but we say screw that, she’s awesome!
4. Young Sil – Species (1995)
When we think back to the sci-fi classic Species we probably all remember Natasha Henstridge as a killer alien seductress trying to successfully mates with a human male. However, before she grew up to be a sexual predator she was a tween predator (and played Michelle Williams). Yup, even as a twelve year old this little girl was just as deadly as she was adorable.
3. The Lub Lubs – Mom And Dad Save The World (1992)
Mom and Dad Save the World follows two parents, Marge Nelson (Teri Garr) and Dick Nelson (Jeffrey Jones), who get transported to another planet populated entirely by idiots. The main moron in charge (played by funnyman Jon Lovitz) falls in love with Marge and plans to force her to marry him.
So, this means that Dick has to be taken out of the picture. This leads to Dick being sentenced to death. Thankfully he makes his escape down a garbage chute to the sewers, where he hides out. Among the grimness he comes across a few cute-looking mushroom-like creatures, one of which he foolishly attempts to pet. This prompts the creatures to reveal its true carnivorous nature and forces poor Dick to flee yet again.
2. The Creatures – Galaxy Quest (1999)
The much underrated Galaxy Quest follows a group of actors who starred in a sci-fi TV show back in the day but now mostly attend conventions and relive their glory days. After a series of events the group of actors are sent to another planet by actual aliens who think that the characters they played on TV are real people. Later in the film the crew comes across an adorable alien race, but true to suspicion, the aliens are ruthless killers. These creatures look like cuter, kindlier, Teletubbies; with their child-like bodies and adorably cartoonish faces. That is until they open their mouths, revealing the dozens of razor-sharp fangs.
1. Zombie Girl – Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
George Romero’s original 1968 zombie magnum opus may seem dull by today’s standards, but it is still quite the effective film. The story follows a group of strangers, who through a series of events end up trapped together in a secluded farmhouse; this is of course after the dead start to rise. One of the most memorable moments of the film comes when we witness an innocent little girl (played by Kyra Schon) slowly turn into one of the undead. It’s one thing to see adults eating each other, but to see a cute little girl devour her own parents. Well, that’s another thing all together.
What other adorable (yet deadly) characters would you like to add? Let us know in the comment section below.