For better and for worse, it’s the materially peculiar cinematic moments that tend to stick in our psyches more than any other. Be it something amusingly weird we couldn’t have possibly expected, or something so tremendously warped and demented you’d need to be pretty deranged to think of it in the first place. These next twenty movie moments that we’ll be looking at today are celebrations of cinema’s ability to surprise, astound and disgust us, a reminder of both the extreme greatness and supreme awfulness that cinema can achieve.
So, without any further ceremony, here are the 20 biggest WTF movie moments from 2014, and of course, a spoiler alert is in full effect!
20. Matt Lauer Kills A Shark – Sharknado 2: The Second One
In the lineage of movie sequels that outdid their predecessors, there’s The Godfather Part 2, Aliens, Terminator 2, The Dark Knight, and now…Sharknado 2: The Second One. Spoiler alert: Crazy shit happens in this film. You’re shocked, we know.
Two of the best cameos in this bizarre film come from Today presenters Al Roker and Matt Lauer, who throughout the movie report on the status of the Sharknado event, and do so with seriousness that is in itself totally hilarious. At the end of the movie, the Sharknado attack even infests their studio, and they’re forced to take to arms, resulting in a glorious moment in which Roker holds the shark down while Lauer stabs it with an umbrella. It’s completely ridiculous, but quite awesome nonetheless.
19. Annie’s Illiterate Now For Some Reason – Annie
When it was first announced that they were going to be making a modernized version of the world’s second favorite orphan (after Batman) a lot of people didn’t know what to think. The 1982 musical, Annie, is hardly a masterpiece, and altering it wasn’t necessarily a bad idea.
However, in what is probably one of the lamest twists in film history, about forty minutes into the movie the filmmakers reveal that little orphan Annie isn’t able to read in this updated version of the story. Yes, despite the fact that she attends school and carries a letter from her parents wherever she goes, the filmmakers decide to make her illiterate. Why did they do this? Who knows. It’s completely contrived and totally unnecessary. The kid is an orphan for goodness sake! The audience is already sympathetic to her plight.
18. The Romeo & Juliet Law – Transformers: Age Of Extinction
In Michael Bay’s latest Transformers outing, Nicola Peltz plays Tessa, the daughter of our main protagonist, Cade (Mark Wahlberg). She exists purely to look pretty and to add some emotional weight to the proceedings; the latter of which doesn’t work. Also, the film makes Tessa underage simply so they can make a joke about the fact that she’s dating (and presumably having sex with) a grown man who creepily carries in his wallet a copy of a rape statute that permits his actions – the “Romeo & Juliet” law.
Needless to say, this whole subplot is totally unnecessary and fairly creepy. Do audiences really want to see characters arguing over whether there’s statutory rape going on or not? Why not just make both characters 18 or 19? Cade could still be mad that his daughter is dating a douchebag, so what’s the benefit of this?
17. Human/Zombie Hookup – Dead Snow: Red Vs. Dead
The zombie-Nazi horror-comedy Dead Snow II: Red Vs. Dead, is everything the first Dead Snow should have been – clever, relentlessly over-the-top, and, most important of all, creative in its gore-drenched anarchy.
The film’s protagonist, Martin (Vegar Hoel), has a zombie arm (long story) which he learns can revive the dead. After he revives a troop of Russian POWs to take on a hoard of Nazi zombies he celebrates the victory by reviving his dead girlfriend, Hanna, and promptly having sex with her (it?) in the backseat of his car. Oddly enough, this is one of the most strangely romantic human/zombie sex scenes you’re likely to see. Zombie-on-human love is a relatively new concept (see 1993’s Return of the Living Dead 3 for an early example). But with films like this, Warm Bodies and Life After Beth, perhaps things are changing. For the better? Well, that’s debatable.
16. Hot Sauce Tampon Up The Ass – Top Five
Chris Rock’s unexpectedly brilliant comedy Top Five features a scene that’s not just one of the year’s funniest moments, but also one of the most wince-inducing.
Andre Allen (Chris Rock) and New York Times reporter Chelsea Brown (Rosario Dawson) run into her boyfriend Brad (Anders Holm) in a hotel lobby during their marathon hangout. Chelsea reveals that Brad is now homosexual and later explains to Andre that she had had her suspicions, because Brad loved anal stimulation so much. In flashbacks, we see that he liked it in the bedroom, in airplane bathrooms, and at parties. Finally, when Brad slights her in front of their friends, she exacts revenge by putting a tampon drenched with hot sauce into his ass later that night. The result? Just as you’d expect: Brad writhes around in uncontrollable agony, and the audience themselves probably aren’t far off either.
15. Tom Cruise Lives – Edge Of Tomorrow
Edge Of Tomorrow (subsequently marketed with the tagline Live Die Repeat) stands out as one of the most downright entertaining sci-fi movies of 2014. The film is a persistently fun and shockingly emotional futuristic take on Groundhog Day, which has Tom Cruise playing against his usual type as Major William Cage, a coward whose destiny is to save mankind from aliens. You have one of the biggest movie stars of all time, dying in numerous brutal, tongue-in-cheek ways—his face melts down to the skull, he gets run over by a truck, shot to death multiple times by Emily Blunt’s “Angel of Verdun”, blown up, exterminated by aliens. At first, it’s harsh. But by the fifth or sixth time, it’s crowd-pleasing, like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon come to life.
However, the final moments of the film pretty much ruin everything. Unsurprisingly saving the world, Cruise’s character goes underwater to drop a grenade into the mouth of the alien boss, the Omega, victoriously making the leader explode, but one of the Mimics is able to fatally wound Cage in the process. His body floats down onto some large algae-like organism, which then latches onto Cage’s body and makes him wake up back in the past. Cage learns that, somehow, the Mimics’ resolve has weakened, and the war is finally over. There’s even one last cutesy moment between Cruise and Blunt, followed by that intolerable John Newman song “Love Me Again” playing over the end credits. It’s a lame cop-out for what’s otherwise a bold and satisfying film.
14. The Threat Of “Rape” – Fury
David Ayer’s thrilling epic, Fury, doesn’t glorify war, which is shown as realistically brutal. But it does glorify the revered leader of a small tank crew, Collier (Brad Pitt), despite the way his character commits and encourages others to commit war crimes: first with the execution of an unarmed prisoner of war, and later in claiming the sexual spoils of war.
One scene in particular finds Collier and “newbie” teenage soldier Norman (Logan Lerman) entering an apartment to find a woman and a teenage girl – both utterly terrified. The teenage girl is named Emma (Alicia von Rittberg), an attractive young lady of Norman’s approximate age. The two clearly have a certain chemistry, and it leads to the pair having sex in Emma’s bedroom while Collier talks to her cousin. Collier prompts Norman by saying, “She’s a good clean girl. If you don’t take her into that bedroom, I will”, an uncomfortable line which seems to be saying, “I don’t care if she’s interested in me or not, but if you don’t have sex with her, I’m going to do it.” Of course, some people who watch this film might see this scene and interpret it another way; but the sentiment seems to be fairly straightforward.
13. Hilary Swank Hangs Herself – The Homesman
In this 19th century “western” three women who have been driven mad by pioneer life are to be transported across the country by covered wagon by the dutiful, independent-minded Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank), who in turn employs low-life drifter George Briggs (Tommy Lee Jones) to assist her.
During the trip, the two become (somewhat) close. Cuddy tells him that they make a great team and suggests that they marry (not for romance, just for practicality and survival’s sake). Briggs, like a number of previous men, rejects her, but when a naked Cuddy propositions him later that night, he agrees and the two have sex. The next morning, Briggs is devastated to find that Cuddy has hung herself. It is a moment that comes out of nowhere and leaves the audience wondering “what the hell just happened!”
12. Seth Rogen Milks Rose Byrne – Neighbors
Mac Radner (Seth Rogen) knows firsthand all the joys as well as (and especially) the pitfalls of having a baby. For instance, while his wife Kelly (Rose Byrne) is breastfeeding, her breasts become extremely sensitive, to the point that she’s embarrassed to even let her husband see or touch them.
However, after a night of drinking, the couple wake up and Kelly decides to breastfeed their kid, but can’t because she has alcohol in her boob milk. Nevertheless, this milk has to come out some way or another. So basically, they decide to literally milk her until the milk comes flying out of her nipples into Seth Rogen’s face. This gives the term “facial” a whole new definition.
11. The End Credits Montage – 22 Jump Street
The surprise success of 2012’s 21 Jump Street allowed the film’s directors and stars, Phil Lord, Chris Miller, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, the opportunity to make a sequel. Better yet, they spent most of said sequel cracking jokes about how ridiculous it was that they even had a sequel.
Though, rather than just settle with some winking at the camera, the filmmakers chose to ride the joke relentlessly into the ground with an awesomely-meta credits sequence that teased at Jump Streets 23 through 43, ending with the futuristic 2121 Jump Street. While this ending is meant to poke fun at Hollywood and their ridiculous need to make unnecessary sequels, nobody can deny that 38 Jump Street: Dance Academy sounds pretty awesome!
10. Marlon Wayans Has Sex With A Puppet – A Haunted House 2
In this odd send-up of current horror movies, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) moves in with his new girlfriend Megan (Jaime Pressly); after a series of odd events they come across a creepy doll in the house named Abigail, which is clearly intended to spoof the Annabelle doll from The Conjuring.
When Malcolm’s left alone with the doll, he decides to start the small talk, and before long, he starts making out with the doll, then the doll sits on his face, and then they’re having down-right nasty sex, with no orifice left untouched. The scene finally ends with Malcolm cleaning up Abigail’s nether-regions and falling asleep, cuddling “her”. Wow!
9. Sex Games On A Train – Nymphomaniac
For anyone who was expecting a porno, keep it in your pants. Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, functions more like a Sex Ed. instructional video than anything else. The story follows Joe, a self-confessed sex addict who tells her unfortunate life story through flashbacks to a man who finds her beaten in an alley.
One of the craziest moments of the story is when a young teenage Joe (Stacy Martin), caught up in a bet with her friend about who can have sex with the most men during a train ride, gives a blowjob to a married man who begs her not to put him in this situation. She’s unsympathetic. He isn’t a person to her. She’s fixated on sex like an Olympic runner gunning for gold. And to make matters more surreal, the girls didn’t wager money or anything like that, rather, the winner of the bet simply got a bag of chocolates. Geez, let’s hope it was Godiva chocolate at least.
8. Feeding The Babadook Worms – The Babadook
Director Jennifer Kent’s psychological horror film may seem like a straightforward possession story but it’s much deeper than that. Sure, there’s glimpses of a “monster” who is lurking in the shadows but the film is much more about the guilt that has consumed its main character, Amelia (Essie Davis), who resents her son, Samuel (Noah Wiseman), for her now miserable life.
Leading up to the anniversary of her husband’s death, the depressed and emotional Amelia begins to sense a disturbing presence stalking her and her son after reading a mysterious pop-up children’s storybook titled “Mister Babadook.” When the monster finally reveals himself (or itself?) we soon learn that the monster is really Amelia essentially going mad. The end of the film finds Amelia feeding The Babadook worms to seemingly keep it at bay. Why does she feed it worms? Who the hell knows!
7. Amy Murders Desi – Gone Girl
Nobody knew quite how crazy Rosamund Pike’s character, Amy, was in David Fincher’s Gone Girl until this pivotal scene where she lures ex-boyfriend Desi (Neil Patrick Harris) to bed with an ulterior motive. Once Desi is on top of her, Amy pulls out a hidden box cutter and slashes his throat, causing the blood to spray all over both of them. Amy flips him over and straddles him as he bleeds out in a truly disturbing spectacle.
Her actions throughout the film – and in this scene in particular – show that Amy is less of a sociopath and more of a real life Terminatrix; she clearly understands emotions and how they work, but whether she ever actually feels them isn’t clear.
6. The Fake Baby – American Sniper
It’s not really a contentious thing to say that Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper suffers in terms of storytelling, especially in scenes that take place Stateside. But on an even more important level, the film’s depiction of real-life American solider Chris Kyle as a black-and-white war hero is problematic, and the way that Eastwood paints al Qaeda in broad strokes, almost as a villain from a 1950s Western film is—JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT BABY!?
When Kyle (Bradley Cooper) and his wife Taya (Sienna Miller) are discussing his return to duty, they pass their baby daughter to one another several times, using a creepily unrealistic fake robot baby as a prop. How hard is it to find a real baby for a quick scene? Well, it must be more difficult than it seems, apparently.
5. The Man Upstairs Reveals Himself – The Lego Movie
The Lego Movie could have simply been a movie contained within the Lego universe and it still would have been a masterpiece, but the filmmakers took it up a notch by engaging with the forces which give the Lego toys life – humans.
The final section of The Lego Movie takes place in the real world, as it’s revealed that the real villain of the movie is “the Man Upstairs” (Will Ferrell), the father of the boy who has been playing with his dad’s Lego set the whole time, Finn. The film’s Lego villain, President Business, is of course modeled on Finn’s dad, who favors order and hates Finn’s rudimentary yet imaginative Lego creations. Not only is this entire section of the movie a huge surprise, it’s also extremely clever, and a surprisingly emotional testament to the power of the imagination.
4. Lucy Reaches 100% – Lucy
No one can accuse Luc Besson of not using 100% of his creative energy on this one. 100% of his brain? Well, not so much. In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s titular character gets caught up in an international drug smuggling ring. After knocking her out, a weird substance that resembles fancy detergent crystals (they’re blue!) is inserted into her stomach. But before she can “mule” it overseas, she’s kicked in the stomach by an obligatory goon and the drug – a synthetic version of the compound that instigates bone growth in a fetus – enters her blood stream. Instantaneously, she can now access a larger percentage of her brain. This means she basically has superpowers.
At the end of the movie, Lucy’s brain power reaches 100%, causing her body to disappear and be replaced with a black matter supercomputer which eventually transforms into a flash drive that Professor Norman (Morgan Freeman) takes hold of. When police captain Del Rio (Amr Waked) asks where Lucy is, he receives a text reading, “I AM EVERYWHERE.” Umm, okay.
3. Birdman Flies Once Again… Or Maybe Not – Birdman
As much as we’ve all tried to get to the bottom of it, we simply aren’t able to figure out the ending of Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Birdman.
When “washed-up” actor Riggan Thomson (Michael Keaton) uses a real gun for the final scene of his Broadway play and shoots his nose off on stage, it turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to him. In the hospital, Riggan learns that the play has gotten rave reviews. and he seems (reasonably) happy about it. After a brief visit with his daughter Sam (Emma Stone), Riggan sees birds flying outside and climbs onto the window ledge. When Sam returns, he is gone; she looks out at the sky and smiles. The rest is up to the viewer.
So… what exactly happened? Is he dead? Is he alive? Can Birdman really fly? Does he really have superpowers? If he did jump to his death, why is his daughter smiling about it? Many theories and explanations have been thrown around but this will surely go down in the cinematic history books along films like Inception and Mulholland Drive as one of the most confusing/frustrating movie endings of all time.
2. The Fifth Dimension – Interstellar
The ending to Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar undoubtedly left some viewers thrilled and others thoroughly frustrated. In a last minute act of desperation by Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) to save Brand (Anne Hathaway) and their mission, he jettisons himself and their robot companion TARS into the omnipresent black hole leering over their new solar system. As a result, Brand is left to finish the mission alone and Cooper is forced to enter Nolan’s rendition of a “tesseract.”
This cinematic fifth dimension – which is represented by every possible moment in his daughter’s bedroom back on Earth as seen from behind her bookshelf, because, love – is a visually dazzling and altogether bonkers attempt to represent a complex theoretical concept that also makes almost zero dramatic sense. This is some time travel meddling that would get Doc Brown flustered.
1. The Return Of Howard The Duck – Guardians Of The Galaxy
The Marvel Cinematic Universe were not the first to include an extra scene after the credits have rolled, but over the past decade, fans have now come to expect this sort of thing from the films. Guardians Of The Galaxy did not disappoint (well, at least depending on who you ask). In the movie’s post-credit scene, James Gunn returns viewers to The Collector’s (Benicio del Toro) base, where he’s accompanied by two of his artifacts, Cosmo the Spacedog, and none other than Howard The Duck.
This quick scene was a small helping of cinematic redemption after the character’s infamous 1986 live-action flop. After so many Marvel Studios movies with post-credits scenes that point to the next step in their vast cinematic universe, it was an unexpected delight to see Guardians wrap things up with such a silly gag sequence. But seriously, when’s that new Howard The Duck movie getting greenlit?!
What do you think was the biggest WTF movie moment of 2014? Let us know in the comment section below.