During the early ‘80s, the slasher movie market was oversaturated beyond belief. With the success of the original Friday The 13th we were bombard with endless knockoffs and horror films that weren’t up to the challenge of trying something new. Then came New Line Cinema and Wes Craven to create one of the greatest horror movie villains in the form of the burnt-face Freddy Krueger. A killer who could off you in your dreams.
Over the years, Freddy has garnered acclaim more for his comic qualities than his ability to inspire terror. It makes sense, since Robert Englund’s brilliant portrayal of the child molester turned knife-glove-wearing dreamland serial killer fully embraces the character’s morbid wit.
However, there are a few moments that took the ridiculousness a little too far. These are those moments. Enjoy!
6. The Fat Boys’ Are You Ready For Freddy Music Video
Back in the blood-curdling year of 1988, Freddy made a guest appearance on the Fat Boys’ single Are You Ready For Freddy, recorded for the Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master soundtrack, because as the ’80s were winding down Freddy seemed to be going out of his way to embarrass himself.
Freddy actually delivers the first verse of the song, wherein he rattles off his name and address as if he’s filling out a Blockbuster membership application (outdated reference, we know). He then invites us to stay and listen to the rest of the jam and informs us that we will all be busting rhymes of our own by the time the credits roll.
5. Freddy’s 900 Hotline
In the midst of the Krueger craze that was sweeping the pop culture landscape of the late ’80s, the folks over at New Line looked past the fact that encouraging children to call up a child molester was perhaps a little bit wrong, and gave Freddy Krueger the ultimate ’80s honor; his very own 900 number.
The Freddy hotline was launched in 1988, to promote Dream Master, and was resurrected (with a different number) in 1992, prior to the release of Freddy’s Dead. We actually called the number but we won’t spoil the fun for you. Give it a call… if you dare! 1-900-909-FRED.
4. Freddy Fright Squirter
There was a moment in time when you couldn’t walk into a retail store without seeing a product with Freddy’s face on it. While some of these items made sense (action figures, replicas of his trademark glove, etc) others were just weird.
Freddy’s Fright Squirter, for instance, was basically the severed head of Freddy Krueger as a water gun. The package’s insistence that kids as young as four-years-old should shove their fists inside a hollowed out Freddy just adds to the surrealness of it all. Worst yet, by its very nature, this disembodied head lacks Freddy’s signature feature – his razor hands – making this even more of a failure in terms of tie-in branding.
3. The Alternative Nurse Scene From Dream Warriors
In the third entry of the NOES series, Freddy takes his dream stalking skills away from Elm Street to Westin Hills, a psychiatric hospital for the youth. In one of the most memorable moments of the film, Joey, a mute, unaware that he’s asleep, is seduced by the beautiful nurse who caught his eye earlier in the story. The nurse strips off her top and the two begin making out. Joey’s excitement quickly turns to despair when he realizes that the nurse is really Freddy in disguise and he winds up being tongue-tied to a bed (literally) over a blistering inferno.
As disturbing as this scene already is, the uncomfortableness would have been taken up a few thousand notches if it had played out as originally intended. Namely, instead of the nurse turning into Freddy in the blink of an eye, she would have morphed into the bastard “son of a hundred maniacs” with the body of a women. In other words, Freddy Krueger with a huge pair of breasts. Not sure how to feel about that? You’re not alone.
2. The NES Nightmare
As the Angry Video Game Nerd has pointed nearly a decade ago, 1990’s A Nightmare On Elm Street for the NES was, to put it mildly, not the greatest game you would hope to get your hands on. In the game your objective is to search for Freddy’s bones that are scattered all over Elm Street in locations such as random houses, a cemetery, the junkyard and the Elm Street high school. Once you have collected all of his bones, you need to burn them in the high school’s boiler room.
In the end, Nightmare On Elm Street comes across as a low-rent Castlevania with a great but bizarrely weak super-villain. If you followed the company that published the game, LJN, during the NES era, you know how bad their stuff could be. Jaws? Beetlejuice? Who Framed Roger Rabbit? These games were the real nightmares of childhood.
1. The Reboot
Picture the original Nightmare On Elm Street. Now picture that film if it were produced by the always over-the-top Michael Bay. Now picture all of the worst possible outcomes of that marriage. Well, you don’t have to do that. All you have to do is take an hour or two out of your day and watch this ultra lame remake/reboot.
On paper it didn’t necessarily sound like a bad idea. The film brings the series back to its horror roots (leaving the horror/comedy at the door). And Freddy Krueger is now played by Jackie Earle Haley, an Oscar-nominated actor who proved just how creepy he could be as Rorschach in Zack Snyder’s Watchmen. How bad could it be? The answer to that question is really bad… extraordinarily bad.
What were some of your worst memories of Freddy Krueger? Let us know in the comment section below.